November 22, 04
It's not been a good week all in all.
I am woefully behind schedule and deeply p'd off by ongoing technical mishaps. Did some filming today only to realise I'd filmed over important bits. I know this process is trial and error but there seems to be a lot of trial right now.
The conceptual ideas feel like they're flying out in all directions...as fragmented as the quilt itself. That bit is clear. It needs to be a patchwork quilt ...feminist motif and all. Bling Bling man and various incantations suggest themselves but oh the language of self love. And oh what is she on about.
It has to be visually beautiful she mutters as she tries to cross stitch sari fabric with brushed velvet. Hours of wasted domestic science lessons have come back to haunt me. There are too many gaps punctuated by the snail's pace at which I am getting to grips with the software.
The thing about the technical side is that it is usually one little blip...invisible instruction...that little switch on the side which no one told you about...which holds up things or worse annihilates everything.
Filmed at the market and felt very intrusive doing it. The very act of pointing a camera at something...in fact there is no neutral space it seems...unless I stick to 'inanimate' safe subjects such as tree trunks and leaves. It feels both powerful and obtrusive. I could sense unease from passers by...shoppers and market holders alike. Or was it mine? I wondered on second thoughts whether I should have begun talking and engaging with strangers first before pointing the camera. Felt harder in a public space. Some advice in retrospect from my son (doing Photography) who suggests simply being obvious and placing oneself in a central position so people can see you and although people will glance...they are only preoccupied for a moment.
Very helpful meeting with Folake and Dani. Hadn't been sure how to take it forward. Hadn't realised the gaps until Dani's useful questions. This is the hard bit, really pinning the ideas down. Then I realise I will need some recordings from other women. T and C can take care of the younger age group and O has offered to talk to a cross section of people.